Helmets and Head Symmetry

I'll admit, I'm a little OCD when it comes to a few things - drinking glass placement on restaurant tables (has to be lined up with a seam), formatting in newspapers (spelling and leading), and my kids head symmetry. My wife and I took the standard parenting classes prior to welcoming the little one, and I didn't appreciate how much emphasis was placed on newborn and infant appearance. They all look like ET. Got it, move on, my kid will be a perfect exception. Guess I should have payed more attention to the class content and less on my concern that the stacks of books in the corner weren't lined up uniformly.

It's actually a little ridiculous, considering that all new kids have really wickedly shaped heads. Every morning, I have a routine I call "The Trivial Trinity" during which I check the diaper, grab a bottle, and start rotating my daughter in my hands to check head symmetry status. Oh yeah, I check every angle for ear alignment deviations, forehead bulges, and anything else that signals a problem. She just wants a change and some milk, but that has to wait for the exam. I wake up during the night to make sure my daughter's head is rotated to minimize flat spots. I'm tuned in to the sound of my daughter rotating her head at night, and I will respond likes it's a 911 call.

I fully admit this process is more about me than her. Truth be told, if the old melon looks like a football turned 30 degrees on a y-axis, that's okay. She can wear a little helmet to fix the issue, or we can petition the gods for really thick hair. Actually, the helmet would help in my plans to program her into the next Xena Warrior Princess. First, helmet; next, chest plate and broad sword.

Will I love her less if she's asymmetrical? No. Will I deny her a fresh diaper and warm bottle if she fails the morning exam? Absolutely not. Will any of this logic change my ways or allow me to relax a little and just let her grow? Not a chance, and now it's time to go line up my coffee mugs and make sure the labels on my canned goods all face forward.